“I want out! We cannot continue like this. This has been on for too long and I don’t think it will ever stop. I am losing my sanity, confidence, and position in His presence. Yes, I love you and you know it, but my life is being drained and I don’t want to continue like this” …Sade lamented as she wept bitterly to Lanre.
Olanrewaju (shortened as Lanre) Adekunle was a final year pharmacy student in the University of Ibadan, Nigeria. He loved the Lord and served as the Bible Study coordinator in one of the fellowships on Campus. He was well loved by both his classmates and fellowship members, owing to his calm, accommodating and loving nature. Lanre had approached Sade, after he handed over since he had received a word 6months earlier from the Lord that Sade was the will of God for him (a fellowship leader cannot propose to a lady while still serving in his fellowship; the reason was so that sisters are not taken advantage of) . He went through the marriage counselling committee of his fellowship.
Sade Aderoju, a 300L Computer Science student attended the same fellowship as Lanre and she was the Choir leader. Sade was a beautiful young lady, outgoing, jovial, fashionable, and diligent. These qualities and more made her the target of most brothers in the fellowship, especially the leaders since her traits could complement any man in ministry. Important to mention was her distinct angelic singing voice, which drew many people to her. With all these, Sade was also spiritually inclined. Sade had known that Lanre was her perfect will in marriage a year before Lanre proposed, so she gave a positive response to the marriage counselling committee when she was informed of Lanre’s intention.
Most brothers in the fellowship were envious of Lanre but what more could they do? Absolutely nothing. Their relationship started. Lanre graduated from the University 3 months later and was surprisingly posted to a company in Ibadan for his NYSC. NYSC (National Youth Service Corps) is a one year service for all graduates in Nigeria before they can officially function in any company or academia or even political sector, it’s meant to be a way of serving one’s fatherland in any part of the country. Ideally, graduates are posted far away from their states of origin and where they complete their tertiary education. This is done to promote integration among different tribes in the country. Lanre’s posting was uncommon in the history of NYSC.
Lanre was given a self-contained apartment by the company.
On this fateful Saturday, Sade went over to Lanre’s apartment after Choir rehearsal… then one thing led to another…
“Sade, I’m so sorry this is happening again. I don’t know why it’s so difficult for me to hold myself when I’m with you. You know I’m not promiscuous and I know you are not as well, but why this is happening is what I can’t explain. Throughout my undergraduate years, I never had intimacy with any lady and it never ever occurred to me. I’m getting so messed up right now.” Lanre pleaded
“Lanre, I have heard this over and over again. I will not say it’s entirely your fault because you never forced yourself on me but I don’t think we are ever going to come out of this. I am strongly convinced that God ordained us for each other but…”
Lanre cut in … “Please don’t finish that statement. I promise you this time around that this will never ever happen again. If it does then, you can break off the relationship…”
“Even though I never saw your nakedness and you never saw mine, but what we do is equivalent to having sex. The kissing, smooching, caressing and the thing is …we find it hard to stop until you release or I reach… you know.” Sade said still crying.
She continued, as Lanre knelt beside his bed, with his eyes filled with tears and fixed on Sade, “the reality of us not being naked is supposed to make me feel better but it doesn’t, it rather reveals how much of hypocrites we are, Lanre. We convinced ourselves that what we are doing is not same as sex, when this started 6 months ago, but it’s not different. I really don’t feel fit to say this right now but Jesus said in ‘Matthew 5:28, that whoever looks upon a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her’. But, this…this, we are doing goes beyond mere looking. Lanre, I want us to stop this act.”
“Sade, we will stop…we have stopped…in fact, this has stopped, please, just give me this last chance. If this happens again, you can end the relationship, I promise” Lanre begged.
Lanre and Sade wept bitterly and kept crying for God’s mercy. This was a year and 6 months into their relationship, Sade was already in her final semester and was working on her thesis. She left, and went back to her hostel. Her roommate, Kemi was half asleep when she entered and informed her she would like to discuss an important matter with her.
“What is it about?” Sade asked.
Kemi told her to wait till morning and dozed off immediately. Sade became really worried and started asking herself questions… what could it be? Did God reveal anything to Kemi? Did anyone notice what was going on between Lanre and me? What could it be?
THOUGHTS:
Is it ok for Sade to be worried about what Kemi had to say? Could this be anxiety or suspicion? Should this kind of feeling in a situation like this call for concern or is it normal?
QUOTE: “…he that breaks the hedge, serpent will bite (Ecclesiastes 10:8)”
To be continued