EPISODE 8 – The Standard
“Who was that on the phone?” Sade asked Kemi curiously
“My siblings of course. Who did you think I was talking to?” Kemi said, feigning ignorance.
“Of course, I know but you have two siblings, I heard you asking if one of them would like football cleats. I know you were definitely not asking your brother who is a university undergraduate that question, or does your sister play football?”
“I knew what you were driving at from the onset. Well, I was just waiting for the right time to mention it to you. That was Henry, my dad’s son, my brother. He came over to spend weekend at our house, so I decided to speak to him.” Kemi explained, smiling
“Praise God! That’s what I’ve been praying about, that God would melt your heart and give you the grace to forgive and let go” Sade showed her excitement
“Well, God answered your prayers, my darling prayer warrior” Kemi said, spreading out her hands in the air and looking up to the heavens. Both of them laughed.
Sade went back to her laptop, writing her final year thesis. She had to go through a lot of research papers and slept late almost every night. After about ten minutes, she wanted something to snack on, and Kemi was known to stack up her wardrobe with different snacks. Sade wanted one. She asked her but noticed Kemi was deep in thought.
She called her the third time and she jerked back to reality and gave Sade what she asked for. However, Sade wanted to know what could be so serious for Kemi to have been so lost in thought.
“Kemi, what were you thinking about? Hope it’s not the state of the country. Don’t worry, naija go better (a common slogan meaning Nigeria will be better)”
They both laughed
“Come to think of it! I’m a tall lady and I should have someone to complement my height, you know. Samuel is just the opposite of my dream man in appearance, he’s shorter than I am, fair-complexioned and also too plump for my liking. I think I like his personality and the fact that he’s a child of God, and of course His will for me but how do I cope with having a man I’m taller than as my husband? It doesn’t look ideal at all” Kemi finalized, looking disturbed.
Kemi had finally stopped hurting from what her father did in the past and she had forgiven him completely. She had started calling her dad more often to ask how he was faring. Her mother was so happy with the new development because she had been praying for her daughter’s heart to be softened towards her husband and Henry. Kemi was taking it one step at a time, though. She was planning to travel home and have a nice time out with her family including Henry after her final exams.
Now, this again…
“Kemi, it was something else few weeks ago, now that you have accepted his proposal, it’s physical appearance wahala (issue) again,” Sade asserted
“It’s not your fault now. Is it because Lanre is tall, dark and handsome?” Kemi retorted, rolling her eyes at Sade
Sade couldn’t help but laughed
“Will you believe me if I say, I never for once considered any of these factors? Trust me, they’re good but not important” Sade said as she continued typing.
“Sade, they are important to me. I didn’t realize how short he was until he came around today. You saw him right, did we look like a perfect couple to you?” Kemi said as she moved her chair close to where Sade was typing
“Hey, perfect couple? Where is this coming from? I mean, when has physical appearance been considered as a determinant of how perfect a couple is?” Sade asked Kemi, now leaning on the table with her eyes fixated on Kemi
“Well…errm (stammering), what age are you from, Sade? You’re talking as if you don’t know how everybody thinks these days” Kemi responded as she found her voice.
Sade realized her friend was serious and was really concerned about Samuel’s outlook. She knew whatever she had to say had better be convincing enough because Kemi’s standard seemed to be the first on her mind, maybe even above God’s voice right now.
Sade told her about her own parents who are the perfect example to be used in this situation. Her Dad is shorter than her mum, and it’s funny that she herself never thought of it as being a challenge or a problem. Perhaps, this is the case because her parents never ever made it a point of concern, they are so much in love, and proud of each other even after about 24 years of marriage, they were still best of friends.
Sade also emphasized how important it was to always yield to God’s design. She made her realize it’s from the standard of the world through media influence, novels and societal standards that it was concluded that the husband must be taller than the wife, it was never mentioned as God’s plan. If it was so important, it would have been emphasized in every union mentioned in the Scriptures. Also, being attractive, beautiful or handsome is not tantamount to having a happy home, it has never been a factor.
Sade still prayed to have a relationship like that of her parents where there was so much love, respect, friendship and unspeakable joy of the Lord, radiating in their home.
“Sade, I never saw it in this light before. I now realize I’ve been looking in the wrong direction for answers. Can you believe I started doing web search for ideal couple’s pictures and as you would have rightly guessed the result; ‘fantasy’, the men are always taller? I’m so blessed to have you around, God does it in such a way that He puts the right answer in your mouth for me always. Lanre is so blessed to have you as his future wife. I can just imagine how glorious your home, career and ministry will be” Kemi said, convinced.
“I pray God help us all. We will both shine forth His light in our homes and careers in Jesus’ name”
“Amen”
Different Christian fellowships normally organize send-off ceremony for their final year brethren (FYB) annually. The one organized by Sade’s fellowship will come up in few weeks, she wanted her friend, Kemi to attend.
“Kemi, do you have plans on the last Sunday of this month, other than your regular Sunday service?”
“Yes, I won’t even attend the service here on Campus. I’m going for prison evangelism, which will be my last outreach as the prison evangelist before graduating” Kemi clarified
“Oh…then you won’t be able to attend our FYB send-off service. The souls in the prison are also very important. Do you think I should invite Rita?”
“Why not? I know she has her way with things but you can still try”
“Can you ask her for me, Kemi? It seems Rita doesn’t like saying ‘no’ to you” Sade requested
“No, I won’t. Trust me when I say Rita doesn’t mind saying no to anyone if it’s not convenient for her. So, either you ask her or I do, it won’t change anything. But I won’t” Kemi quickly ran to the bathroom to avoid further persuasion.
Sade laughed and decided to ask her instead
“I will ask her”
“Better” Kemi responded from inside the bathroom
THOUGHTS: What do you think? Should physical appearance (height, complexion, and more) be a concern in the choice of a marriage partner? Must a lady marry a man taller than she is?
QUOTE: “As a child of God, if you don’t fully stand with Christ, you will be swayed by the standard of the world”
To be continued
AUTHOR: Temitope Ibidunni Akinloye
Inspired by the Holy Spirit.