Fully Alive (My Struggles) – Chapter 1

“Hello Caroline, how are you doing today?”

The two upper layers of the shelf close to the wall were stacked with business-related books from different authors. Caroline had some favorites that she would read to clear her mind before taking up any new project. The theme of the books might not be directly related to the project topic but she was sure each book had a way of motivating her to get deep insights into her projects. It always worked. The three interns training under her had a bi-monthly task they had to present to her every month, they were always on their toes. She gave all of them access to her small library in the office. With time, the interns enjoyed the opportunity because they always got insightful feedback from her. Ironically, Caroline dreads giving a presentation. Can it rather be said that she had an extreme case of stage fright?

“I’m good and you?” Caroline said as she turned from the computer to greet her best friend and housemate.

“Same here. What happened earlier today?”

“Nothing…like what? I can’t remember any extraordinary event that took place today”

“Your interns told me you had an emergency that you had to rush out to attend to. What was it?”

“Sola, everything is fine now. I thank God”

“You know you are not good at telling lies. Tell me! What was the emergency?”

“Well…I just thought I should step out to the next street and get some fresh air”

“That’s strange! During work hours? Is there something you are not telling me here? This is Sola, your childhood friend, your confidant, your…” Sola was patronizing Caroline

“It’s ok. Stop! It is what you had imagined. I didn’t have the courage to come in before all those directors”

“Caroline, for how long will you allow this to happen to you? You put so much effort into that proposal. I’m well aware of the sleepless nights, the research work, and brainstorming sessions with your interns before you could finalize your ideas into such an outstanding proposal.”

“I know and I’m so unhappy that I wasn’t able to pull through eventually, but I couldn’t help it. Kate was willing and very motivated, so I allowed her”

“You gave that major proposal that can define your future to your intern to defend before the board of directors? Everyone was surprised when this little girl entered and said you had an emergency and she had to stand in for you”

“Did she present well?” Caroline asked as if that was the most important factor here.

“She did an excellent job. She was able to captivate her audience from the 3rd slide after she overcame her nervousness in the first few minutes. She honed the slides, the only credit you got was on the first slide and everyone soon got emerged in her presentation that your name didn’t even come up during and after the presentation”

“I’m glad she pulled through”

“You should but really…should you?”

“Why shouldn’t I?”

“You shouldn’t because this is wrong and becoming boring to me already” Sola whispered the last part, as she sat on the empty seat across Caroline. Nobody else was in the office. Just the two of them. She continued

“If you had told me, I wouldn’t have allowed you to. Most of these directors don’t even know you. You have been working excellently in this company for close to 10years since you graduated and two times, your co-workers have been promoted when they got credit for the work you painstakingly did, just because of what? P-R-I-D-E, pride”

“What? How could you say I’m proud?”

“Well, you are and that’s the truth. I have a meeting now. Bye. Be sure to take care of further emergencies by running to the next street” Sola exited the room

Caroline got welled up with so much anger. How could Sola think she was proud? Sola was her childhood friend and even though her parents are richer than Sola’s parents, nobody ever knew because she always did well to get double of anything her parents bought for her to give one to Sola. Sola also did the same with whatever she had. Their parents knew this about them and call them sisters. How could she call her ‘proud’? She had never shown off with her parents’ riches, she left home after her master’s degree to get a life independent of her parents. Sola knew all of these and still told her she was proud? She needed to talk to someone.

“Segun, do you have some time?”

“Of course, my sweet Caroline. I can even close the whole day’s work to attend to my queen. What would you have me do, your royal highness”

She smiled

“You are not serious, be serious for once. I want to ask you a question and I want a sincere answer”

“Ok, shoot!”

“Do you think I’m proud?”

“Oh? Where is that coming from? Did someone tell you that?” Segun looked into Caroline’s eyes as he found the question ridiculous

“Leave that! Just tell me the truth. Am I proud?”

“Truth? You are one of the most humble people I’ve met in my life. You are easy-going, hardworking and of course, prefer the back seat after all the hard work. That was meant to be a compliment though. The only area I can say you are exhibiting pride is…can I say it?”

“Yes, please. That’s why I’m here”

“The only area is where I’ve been asking for your hand in marriage and you have refused to give me a positive reply”

Both of them laughed

“Caroline, don’t worry about it, the person who told you that probably said it out of jealousy or anger. Don’t take it to heart, just stay away from that toxic person”

“OK, thank you, Segun”

“Anytime”

To be continued

© Temitope Ibidunni Akinloye

Inspired by the Holy Spirit.